10 Things I would Tell my Pre Mom Self

You are NOT perfect and neither is YOUR parenting

I read all the books, did all organic, made my own baby food- I was a perfect new mom. I thought I knew everything and had my sh** together, WRONG! Parenting is a constant balancing act and you will never ever get it entirely right. No one is perfect.

Don’t be so hard on yourself

Parenting mistakes are inevitable. It’s how you handle it afterwards that makes all the difference. Say sorry. Show your children and your partner that you are human. Show them humility. That will teach them tolerance and also compassion. Don’t get too caught up in being perfect.

Self care is important

Before kids, I had a high paying career and took very good care of myself. Once we had our first two, we had to make my husband’s entry level salary work for 4 people!! I had to cut back on A LOT of things I was used to. When I look back, I wished I had taken time for me and not focus everything I had on my husband’s career, kids, and home. I spent many years of my mom life giving everything I had to my family until one day I said, ENOUGH! Even if you don’t have the budget for certain things, MAKE TIME FOR YOU! Feed your spirit with what makes you happy. A quiet walk, a candle lit bath, a lunch date with friends. Make sure to always replenish YOU. You are PRECIOUS and WORTHY.

Keep a hobby

This is so embarrassing but I had no real interests except for my kids and husband. Sad, I know. I wanted to be the best mom. I felt guilty about taking any time away from them. Felt selfish if I did. My first girl’s trip was after I had been married for EIGHT YEARS!!! It was to run 26.2 in Chicago in 2013.  It was a memorable trip that left me with fulfillment and happiness. Now, I make sure to take time to do things I enjoy -run, write, photography and helping others. It’s in those things I find inner joy and it helps feed my soul.

Respect other families differences

No two families are alike. One way of “family” is not better than another way of “family”. Just because you think you are doing a better job doesn’t really mean you are. Keep opinions to yourself and respect other families on how they do things.

Let family and friends spoil your kids

At the end of the day, you will teach your kids the ultimate “rules” of life. A little spoiling here and there won’t hurt them. Don’t get too caught up when someone gives your child extra special treats or presents. A little extra ice cream never hurt anyone 😉

Take more pictures

Pull out the camera more. Don’t worry so much about what you are wearing or what your hair looks like. My DSLR sat on a shelf for too long. I regret not pulling my camera out more and capturing moments.

Hold your babies longer

This will be the only chance you will have to hold them. That baby smell fades fast, enjoy it while it lasts. I have no regrets about rocking my babies to sleep.

Laugh more at the crazy things your kids do

YOUR kids WILL do something that will make you want to bury your head in the sand. Laugh it off. It won’t be a big deal years from now, promise.

Reach out for support

Ask for help and support when you need it. Go to your spouse, partner, family, or friend. You are not super woman and it’s ok to ask for help or say no to things. Don’t put all the pressures on your shoulders. Be gentle with yourself and know you are doing the best you can.

Much love,

xoxo

Alley

Photos by : Cindy Janette Photography