7 Things to Let Go Of To Gain Peace In Your Life

After everything we have been through in 2020 and 2021, many of us are exhausted, am I right? We have been through a lot and feel drained in many ways. I know if there is a positive to these difficult years it’s that it has actually forced many of us to really take control of our lives and find ways to gain inner peace.

My word for 2022 is “Fire”. I want to ignite that back into my life and spirit so that I don’t feel constantly drained. I do have my work cut out for me but I know if I let go of the 7 things below, I am well on my way to making some incredible changes in my life and also finding internal life peace.

7 Things to let go of to gain peace in your life:

Over Committing

Let’s be honest here, this is a tough one. This can happen in many areas of our life; work, family, and friends. Not wanting to say NO out of fear of causing disappointment is a real thing. Committing to things that don’t bring you any joy can cause additional stress and sometimes even resentment. Learning to let go of the idea that you need to say, “Yes” to everything that comes your way can be super freeing. I know there are times that you just can’t say no but recognize when you can and say it.

External Validation

We live in a time of social media which can lead to these microbursts of an instant gratification confidence booster. The views and likes are one way some seek that external validation. It’s one of the reasons I turned off my “like views” I didn’t want my children to think I valued any of that. I try my best to teach my kiddos that validation doesn’t come from anyone but yourself. If you are happy, that’s all that should matter. This is why it’s critical we don’t focus our attention on external validation but concentrate on our own internal validation. When we seek validation from others they control how we feel about ourselves. Giving others the ability to validate who you are is a dangerous slope. When we get a lot of that external validation we feel great, when we don’t get enough, we feel deflated. It leaves us feeling unfulfilled. Empty in a way. Work on seeking your own validation and don’t give that power to anyone but yourself.

Arguing

We all have opinions and different perspectives. At the end of the day, an argument can just lead to frustration and a high level of stress. There are things, in life, that are worth fighting for but be selective in what you get heated about. I have seen it a lot in the last couple of years. If you invest much of your life arguing it really does a number on your health and peace of mind. Nothing good comes from arguing just to argue. There is a time and place for everything. Always consider your peace of mind before you decide to pick a fight. And ask yourself, will this be worth getting into a fight over?

Overthinking

No one is born an overthinker. It’s a habit that develops over time and with life experiences. If you think you are alone in this category, you are not. It’s believed (these are US %) that 73% of 25-35-year-olds overthink, as well as 52% of 45- 55-year-olds.  Our ability to think critically about things is a person’s greatest tool in life. But just like anything in life too much of a good thing can also be bad. Negative thinking patterns can increase depression, increase stress levels, cause unproductivity, and can alter your judgment.  But the good news is, just like any patterns that are learned, they can also be unlearned. Recognizing and changing your mindset, that you are an overthinker, are the first steps to allowing you the peace in your life that is needed to relax and be in the moment.

Excusing

We all want to see the good others. It’s hard when they disappoint us. Sometimes to keep ourselves in our own comfort zone, we make excuses for that individual. And don’t get me wrong, from time to time it is important to demonstrate compassion and empathy towards others. The problem lies when we let “excusing” become a habit and we start excusing all sorts of negative interactions or behaviors. What that does is that it sets us up to not respect our own personal boundaries. Which are important to our lives and well-being.

Fixing

I am SO guilty of this one. I somehow got into the role of “savior” in the last several years. Like it was my job to help others see their wrong(s) and help them FIX IT. Other people’s issues somehow became my own. Which lead to an enormous amount of pressure placed on my shoulders. Which by the way was all self-inflicted. Let me give you a big reality check, It’s NOT your job to fix others. I repeat IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX OTHERS. They need to want to fix themselves. If a person is unwilling to see what they need to “fix” it’s not your role to grab their hand and guide them to the answer. They need to find that on their own. You can only change and fix yourself. Remember that.

Pretending

This is one many of us have become pros at. When we are truly not happy we look the other way or pretend to ourselves and to others that we are. The more we behave in this way the more it drains us of our peace. Even if you are really good at pretending your body knows otherwise. We see a lot of this on social media. Addressing your feelings and emotions is important. And even though it’s not important for everyone to know your business. It is important that the people around you that you trust and love, do. Having authentic and transparent interactions is very freeing and provides a great deal of inner peace as well too.

If you are on the path to finding inner peace and well-being these 7 things to let go of to gain peace in your life are the first steps! Just remember you will make mistakes and you will fail from time to time. That’s ok. Pick yourself up and start again.

When you are able to acknowledge your weaknesses and flaws, you are well on your way to gaining that peace you are looking for.

Photos by: Banavenue Photography