Life After Multiple Blood Transfusions

I had just traveled on a press trip to lake Geneva, WI. Multiple blood transfusions were nowhere near my radar. I literally had a trip to remember. My travel mates were all wonderful, the weather was incredible, and my spirit was feeling renewed. I needed that trip to clear my mind and get away from some heavy stress I have been experiencing for a while. Trips help repair me in a way. So I was on the best travelers high. 

When I got back to Houston, things took a turn for the worse. I was supposed to participate in a women’s retreat and I was looking forward to going but my body decided something else for me. Within several days I was in the ER twice, lost almost half of my blood supply, ended up in the hospital for a week, and received multiple blood transfusions.

Now that I have had some time to process everything, I’m able to recall the events of things better. I was going in and out of consciousness during that time in the hospital. My blood pressure dropped so low and the medicine they gave me to help get it back up wasn’t working. I was aware of what was happening but it felt so far off in the distance. It didn’t feel like I was present at the moment if that makes any sense. At one point I felt my body“lift”. Which was an extremely odd sensation. I thought maybe that was it for me but I knew I couldn’t die without seeing my kids one last time.

Grateful also to the nurse that held my face in your hands and forced me to open my eyes and look at her. When I finally did she said, “This is going to suck and you are not going to like me right now but you have got to muster through this!” “You can do it!”

During those scary moments in the hospital, I felt a few things very significantly. I wanted to share what they were for two reasons. One, it will serve as a reminder for me on my site. Two, it can maybe help someone else in some way.

The first thing I felt was REGRET. For putting others before myself. I felt regret for not standing my ground and for not being loyal to myself above anyone else. Felt regret for accommodating other individuals’ vision of me and how I should live my life. Felt regret for all the pressures I put on myself.

The second thing I felt was SADNESS. I was filled with such sadness at the thought of not seeing my kids anymore and not being able to experience their life milestones. The sadness I felt wasn’t like the type of sadness I had ever felt before. It was different. It was a sort of peaceful sadness of having to say goodbye. My kids have taught me what love is and I hope one day they will truly know how powerful that love has been for me.

The 3rd thing I felt was this overwhelming sense of LOVE. The best way to explain it that would make the most sense is that it felt like a cozy blanket covering me letting me know that I was incredibly valuable and deserving. I felt peace when I experienced that. Felt like the deepest exhale I have ever taken in my life. It wiped away all my disappointment, worries, hurts, and all the emotional pain was gone. I wish I could have bottled that feeling.

It’s been a long road to recovery but every day I get stronger and my hemoglobin numbers continue to increase. If there is one thing that I have learned in all this is NEVER take a day for granted. Things can change very quickly.

Thankful I am here to write about it and wished that I could thank my blood donors in some way for the second chance I was able to get through my multiple blood transfusions. Giving blood is an amazing gift to give. It helps save lives, like mine.

Learn to see if you are eligible to give a blood donation.