Talking to your Children about Gun Violence-Tips from Randi Rubenstein

Living in a world where gun violence at school has become a possibility, parents want to know how to discuss these atrocities with their kiddos. Had the opportunity to learn more about talking to your children about gun violence with Randi Rubenstein, Parenting Coach and best selling author, located in Houston, TX.

Talking to your Children

Randi shared 3 tips to have a productive conversation with your kids about gun violence (or really about anything!)

TIP #1

CHILL your MAMA WARRIOR brain: We have to be willing to talk about these hard topics in a super civilized way with our kids so we don’t freak them out even more.

Kids follow your lead
Yes, this situation is dramatic and scary
Yes, it’s completely reasonable to be scared sh!tless
Yes, it’s disgusting beyond words
AND…as MAMA/PAPA WARRIORS when we manage our own fear and mental drama by having calm productive conversations with our kids, we contribute to the solution.

TIP #2

Channel your inner NAVY SEAL. Navy Seals model calm leadership even in the face of extreme danger and this allows them to think clearly.

The parenting mantra I teach is that “Calm people solve problems.” You can use this conversation to practice being a calm assertive leader and send your kids the message that they are safe in the world.
You will lead the conversation with calm clarity and send your kids the message that they are safe at school. These school shootings are unfortunate and isolated incidents.
Despite the dangers, we drive in cars and fly on airplanes. We wear seatbelts and every flight begins with a flight attendant tutorial on safety. When it comes to school safety, the same is true.
Tell your kids they will remain calm and think clearly like a Navy Seal if something dangerous were to happen at school…personally, I would briefly discuss a few heroic stories of kids hiding, etc. Ultimately, follow your child’s lead in terms of their questions without freaking them out more.
Practice and teach your kids the box breath, the tool Navy Seals use to remain calm,. BONUS: There’s even an app!
Use this opportunity to inform and empower your kids. Tools like the box breath will help them in ALL stressful or pressured areas of their life (sports, test anxiety, socially).
The underlying theme of the conversation: We will not allow fear of crazy shooters to take over our minds and rule our lives. Life is to be lived, not feared. If a situation were to arise, you will channel your inner Navy Seal to remain calm and think clearly. No topic or emotion is off limits in our family. I am your soft place to land if you ever want to talk about anything.

Tip #3

LISTEN & STOP FIXIN’: If your child expresses intense fear and anxiety, it’s very important for them to feel heard and to express their emotions.

Actively listen to your kids and empathize without telling them how they should think or feel.
As parents we tend to jump in to try and control how our kids feel because we can’t stand to see them scared or upset.
Listening to our kids without any attempt to solve or “happy them up”, is the best remedy for when they feel scared and/or confused
If your child opens up and let’s you know they are terrified, simply absorb your child’s words and acknowledge that school shootings are horrific and scary. You want to empathize. Say less and use your tone and facial expressions to let them know that you “get” it without teaching any lessons or trying to eradicate their negative emotions
Empathy – seeing your child’s perspective and listening without telling them how to think or feel will allow your child to process through their big emotions…this is healing and empowering
This is how we teach our kids to be resilient and not afraid

Randi’s intention is to help provide you with a conversational game plan so that you can remain calm and empower your kids – no matter how difficult the discussion. When we create homes where it feels safe to talk about anything and everything, we help clean up the world. We shape the people and contribute to the solution.

You’ve got this Mama/Papa Warrior.

Thank you to Randi for sharing these tips with my readers. Hope you found this helpful. Check out her podcast HERE.

Much love,